So a fear of success…yes, it’s possible!
Any time I start seeing anything that resembles a step toward succeeding as an author, I freeze up. The hardest part has been trying to figure out why I do this. I certainly don’t fear having money. I don’t have any aspirations of becoming a millionaire, but I certainly wouldnt baulk at the prospect. So far I’ve been able to narrow it down to two things.
The first is that I am not generally a very social person. Most times I’m not sure of what to say or how I should behave. I’ve been socially awkward for as long as I can remember. The idea of having fans and socializing with them is scary for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love meeting new people, but I always worry that I’ll do or say the wrong thing. You can probably imagine from this admission how doing a public reading or book signing might be seem to be a horrifying prospect for me.
Of course, I don’t want to appear as being standoffish or stuck up either.
Then there is the expectation factor. Will people startexpecting things from me that I can’t deliver? Will I be able to live up to writing deadlines?
Or how about this! In the midst of my success, will I be able to stick to my own values in the face of those who think they know better than me simply because they’ve worked in the industry longer?
Wait! Did I just bring up a third issue?
The reason I bring this all up is with the release of the first episode of Shadow Stalker on the horizon, I can feel all those fears stirring once again. I am hoping by voicing them publicly, I won’t give in to them yet again.