Renee Writes

Monsters Among Us

When Mr. Franks disappeared, I was sure I was in trouble. If the creatures didn’t look so human, maybe it would be possible to fight them before becoming ensnared in their traps. Your best friend could be one of them, and you would not be able to tell until it was too late. Those who encountered them have never lived.

Where was he? Should I try to run? Would it matter if I did?

I decided I wouldn’t run. I would wait in silence until he did whatever he planned to do. When I got my breathing under control I overheard him slithering nearby.

He was close.

“I know you’re going to kill me, so why don’t you just get it over with?” I told my former teacher.

“You are so much braver than the others,” Mr. Franks whispered in my ear as his stony fingertips brushed my shoulder.

Somehow I resisted the urge to scream, but I couldn’t stop myself from recoiling from his touch.

“Perhaps I should end your agony, but observing your last human moments is truly enjoyable. What is it like to know your life is at end?”

The sudden distance of his voice disoriented me.

“I have been trying not to think about it, to be honest.”

“Pity,” he said.

In the next moment three things happened: An ear-splitting screech penetrated my eardrums; I began falling toward the floor; and something coiled around my body like an oversized boa constrictor squeezing the life out of me.

So this was how I would die. I’d be crushed to death by this monster. I hoped he would end it soon, but he seemed to enjoy seeing me suffer.  When I thought the pain would not get any worse, something razor sharp pierced my neck.

“Welcome to your new life,” he said.

I screamed.

10 Comments

  1. Aurora Jean Alexander Aurora Jean Alexander
    13 September, 2015    

    Wow. This is impressive, Renee. Short, precise, clear – and scary. I’m quite shaken by the pictures in my head which was painted by your words!!
    Very well done!

    • 13 September, 2015    

      Thanks so much Aurora. I keep meaning to write more of these, but I never seem to get around to it. It was fun, though. Glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  2. 4 August, 2015    

    I enjoyed that, Renee. Very creepy and full of menace. I’d like to see you expand on it. I entered a contest a few months ago with a word limit of 350. I found that very difficult. I applaud the way you’ve managed to build up the atmosphere in such a few words.

    • 4 August, 2015    

      Thanks Viv. I think it’s one of the stories that made me realize I prefer to write dark fantasy too. I’m still considering whether I want to turn that into something more. It could end up being a novel one of these days.

  3. 10 November, 2014    

    Short and scary. Nicely done. As you say, flash fiction is demanding. I know working in ff has helped firm up my writing.

    • 10 November, 2014    

      Thanks, Mike. I haven’t had time to write any flash fiction in the last few months, but I hope to get another story or two out soon.

  4. 12 September, 2014    

    thanks for letting me taje a look at this. develops a nice tone of dread but the details are a little vague. I’ve written shorts but never this short and it’s a challenge.

    DQS

    • 12 September, 2014    

      Not a problem, Daniel. Writing these has been very difficult. Everything I’ve read about writing flash and micro fiction has suggested that the details should be vague, but I think there is a fine line between just vague enough and too vague. I think it will take me many many tries before I find that line. 😀

  5. 5 September, 2014    

    Nice. Very nice.

    • 5 September, 2014    

      Thanks! Writing micro fiction and flash fiction looks like it should be easy, but wow, it’s pretty difficult. I’m having fun learning, though. It’s an interesting challenge. 😀

Leave a Reply

Welcome to Renee Writes!

Thanks for Stopping By!

Authors!

I do Author Spotlights every Friday, and I'll be glad to be a host for blog tours and guest posts. Get the details if you're interested.

Connect With Me

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Email

Get Regular Blog Updates

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 33 other subscribers

Get Your Authorgraph!

Follow My Progress

%d bloggers like this: